Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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