Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
