I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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