so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
