I got chris browned last night
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
