is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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