I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize