Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize