no you cant smoke seaweed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
