I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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