i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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