I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
