Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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