According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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