I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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