I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Plan B is the new Plan A
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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