I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
