sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
