I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
