I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize