I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
