...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
