Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
