So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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