I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
