When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
