your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
