My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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