Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
