Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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