loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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