Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
