I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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