Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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