why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
