I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
