I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
