I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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