how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
