I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
