sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
