i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
