Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
