will power is for people who don't want to get laid
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
