yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
whose parrot is this?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
