she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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