So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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