Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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