im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
