READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
