We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
