I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize