I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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