I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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