he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
