I skipped work to stalk him.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
