It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
