So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
