You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
