Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i out mim tonsoeep
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
