so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
