THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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