You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've blown a few things in my day
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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