everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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