oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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