You really coming over, don't trick.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
