so explain again why im purple
no
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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