Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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